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July 31, 2009 / rinta chos

A cheesy melancholic post.

I hate being melodramatic, melancholic, and all that kind of fuss.. such things are for phonies and artis sinetron. And I’m Rinta, I was born to be an ignorant and free human being..

But at this current time, I feel like I’m not that Rinta I used to be and know, I feel like I’m someone else.. someone more emotional.

Maybe because you’re a teenager? Teens tend to be like that, they love drama in their life and they never try to get away from’s in their hormones, it’s the phase every teens need to pass..

Well, I ain’t ordinary teenager I guess.. Or I am but I never admit it. I try hard to stay away from drama by not having relationship or having some friendship fight with my friends.. I try to stay away from all that bullshit.

You can’t get away forever though, admit it, you’re upset right now..that’s why you writing, right? Cos that’s the only way you could get over your sadness.. well at least writing can ease your sadness a little bit.

I guess you’re right, narrator.

I’m sad and upset. I feel unsettled with everything.. I’m not happy that I have to go to school again but I have no other choices.. I’m not happy by the fact that I’m waiting for something that’s quite impossible.. everyone said I have nothing to lose, it’s not that bad if I don’t get accepted..
Well, for me, repeating high school year is another extra spending..for books, courses, and everything..
And do I look like I need to spend any extra money? After that one year in United States of America?
No, It’s not acceptable for me to spend my mom’s money for another year of high school. So my unhappiness about repeating high school year is not about the friends, teachers, subjects, it’s something more than that..

That’s school’s problem.. Well, you’re Rinta..if it’s really you, you should just let it flow and be chill.. Don’t worry be happy, right?
And what’s the other thing that troubling you, mate?

Friends.I miss them.I miss them so much that it hurts.It hurts when I looked at the album they gave me last year on the day of my departure.That black album is the best gift I received on that day, best gift I ever received actually.. something that really touch me, something that made me cry the most out of all the other gifts and letters..Now, I couldn’t even look at that album..because I can’t force my tears from coming down.It seems like all of them are gone from my sight, seems like they’re somewhere I could not reach anymore.. When ironically, I’m finally here, in the same city, country, continent..
Call me over possessive. But I am, I’m really possessive when it comes to friends.. especially if I really like that friends, I can’t let them just go from my reach and bam! From friends to a complete strangers..

Maybe you should try to be more understanding? Maybe they’re busy with stuff..

You always get me, narrator. They’re probably busy about college and stuff, but honestly I miss them more than I miss anyone else..because they used to be always my reach and it’s just weird when they’re all gone and not there anymore.. I hope they aren’t going anywhere and leave me.. I hope I can still reach them..

I’m sorry, you seems lonely and yet you still pretend that everything’s okay..

I’m as lonely as Chuck Bass..and well everything’s okay.. I just feel a little bit upset..I’m just going through my melodrama phase. I can handle this..

You should get some sleep, tomorrow’s school day.

I know. Sucks huh? I just want to go to Oshin’s house and crying out loud..telling everything that’s been stuck in my tongue.

By the way, congratulation, you’re writing in English. Even though your grammar sucks.


One Comment

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  1. Citta Parahita Widagdo / Jul 31 2009 4:35 pm

    open my blog, you know the password

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