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December 6, 2009 / rinta chos

Letter to my beloved Papa.

Its been 5 years since he left me, I didn’t cry at his funeral but for these past 5 years I couldn’t help but cry everytime I miss him..
I still can’t stop the tears. No matter how hard I try not to cry.
I still silently weep in the middle of the night, so none of my family member see me.

Been 5 years and yet every funeral still reminds me of him.

Do you know if you miss someone who already passed away that means that someone miss you?

I’m flattered Pa. I miss you too. Always.

A broadcast message tells a story about how Dad shows his careness toward his daughter.
When I read that, it reminds me of you, if only you still around.

My cousin wrote a note about how you had affected his life.

You affected almost every people you met during your lifetime.
Because of your pure heart, your honesty, your tender-hearted attitude, your endless loyalti.

You are my biggest inspiration. My favorite role model. I still want to be you when I grow up.

Pa, how are you these days?
How long till we reunite?

Do you see me now?
I’m 17 years old.
I’ll soon graduate from the best senior high school in Jakarta.
Are you proud that I got into the best high school?
I’ve been to USA too. As an exchange student.
Second family member who went to USA. Are you proud?
later, I’ll take Mama, Kak Mita and Kak Vika with me to USA. With my own money.
Papa I’m gonna be a college student soon, I’ll be a student of the best university in Indonesia.
wish me luck, are you gonna be proud?

I’ll show them all that I’m gonna be as great as you. I’ll show them that I’m as smart as you.

Oh, do you know that I still weeping when I heard Luther Vandross’s Dance with my Father?
Isn’t it lame?
I cried too when I heard Eric Clapton’s Tears in Heaven.

A year ago, I wrote this kind of stuff too. At that current time, I was lost, I’m struggling in Utah.

I’m struggling too now.
Will I get it Pa? Hubungan Internasional UI?
Isn’t it too much to ask?

I don’t want to fail.
I want to make you and Mama proud.
I have to be “something”
I have to be “something” like you.

Wish me luck ya Papa.

PS : take care and see you soon.
I miss you, always.

<3. Your daughter.

"I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't "

George O' Malley.



Leave a Comment
  1. xika / Dec 6 2009 10:58 pm

    😦 I know yr dad’s proud of you! I mean… who won’t?

  2. Citta Parahita Widagdo / Dec 7 2009 11:33 am

    ): I think you’ve been so much stronger than you think you are in these 5 years, Rinta. I’m proud of you and I’m sure your Dad’s proud of you too. He still lives inside you and your family’s heart 🙂

    Stay humble xx

  3. tice / Dec 7 2009 12:28 pm

    i almost cried. ive been a really bad daughter lately. your post makes me regret everything ive done and said to my parents 😥

  4. owner / Dec 8 2009 9:37 am

    Thankyou for year support xikao,citta, and tice. 🙂

  5. anak cerdas / Dec 14 2009 12:23 pm

    huw,,,, hatiqw tersentuh ncos. aer bergenang di mata gw pas baca nih. pokoke kamu HARUS GANBATE SELALUWW!!!^

  6. owner / Dec 15 2009 12:19 am

    Iye iye makasi jang

  7. dey / Dec 20 2009 2:41 pm

    ujang ngerusak blog lo aje br baca ngomong2.sediih.let’s MYPP! Make Your Papa Proud! cemangat chossy!!

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