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April 24, 2010 / rinta chos

Single fighter. Once again.

I’m used to being a “single fighter”. Single means “one person or thing;single one;sole;alone” and fighter means “a person with the will, courage, determination, ability, or disposition to fight, struggle, resist, etc.”. So in conclusion, I’m that one particular person who fight, struggle, and resist all alone. Why do I refer myself as a “single fighter” ? Because, well, it started when I was in 3rd grade of elementary school. I moved out from Balikpapan to Jakarta, all alone, I struggled and I cried like a baby almost everyday because I think it’s very hard for an 8 years old kid to be all alone in a new school with no one to befriend with. And then in 10th grade, wow, high school year, big deal, I was alone..again..there were 4 other kids from my junior high school but I knew exactly nothing about them.. so I felt like a loner, and I had to fight and struggle again, with all the courage and determination I tried to look for a friend (Lucky me, I didn’t just find an ordinary friends, I found an extraordinary bestfriends and also a family :<)).

Later on, 12th grade, I was an exchange student, and yep, I was destined to be a “single fighter” again. I got placed in Utah, and none of my fellow Nacel-ers got placed in the same state.

I’ve been fighting for my life, I’ve been fighting to adapt well in the whole new environment. Fighter fight in a battle, in a battle you can’t directly win and conquer the glory. You have to fight first, you have to get your body parts swollen, you have to burst out some tears, you have to be down for a moment, but then..in the end, you have to rise up and conquer your glory.

Adaptation is something that’s not new in my dictionary, I’ve been doing it for almost 17 years of life. However even though I’m used to that ‘adaptation’ thingies, it does sucks for the first phase, that whole “Mad World” things you have to go through, it sucks to leave your comfort zone and build another one in other place.

I cant help but feel scared. I’m scared of not having a friend who will share same thoughts or even same taste of music, I’m scared of the new foods and culture, I’m scared I’m not welcomed in the new area, I’m scared I’ve take the wrong direction and my life could’ve been happier if I don’t take this direction.

I’m scared of being faraway from my friends, I’m scared they wont miss me, because they’re all in the same place, and I’m the single fighter, I’m alone. I’m scared when they’re already happy with their new phase, I’m still miserable.

Being a single fighter is a goddamn nightmare.But, in the other hand, I’m proud of myself. I’m proud because I always chosen the road less traveled by people. And I know, I know it’ll make a differences, and differences is like the cure of everyday’s boredom, differences is fascinating, and I love to be fascinated. I’m proud because I’m brave enough to be a single fighter.

AND ONCE AGAIN, I TAKE THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED.

PS : Road less traveled or Road not taken is a poem by my favorite poet, Robert Frost. I’m hooked to it ever since I read it in 2006. It’s the most inspirational poem I’ve ever read and it’ll always be like that.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;        5   Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,        10   And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.        15   I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. – Robert Frost.

One Comment

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  1. Jack Lee / Jul 8 2010 2:56 am

    What a nice paper! You tell the truth. You may thing too much, because I won’t think that much when I am 17. To know the real world is necessary but ironic. What we learn in school may be too basic. There are many professional player in the real world that a student cannot beat. That’s what I feel.

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